Opinions of a Wandering Waif

* If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?
* Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?
* Drink tea and nourish life; with the first sip, joy; with the second sip, satisfaction; with the third sip, peace; with the fourth, a Danish.
* Wherever you go, there you are.. Your luggage is another story.
* Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health, or a life without problems. What would you talk about?
* The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single Oy.
* There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?
* Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then, what do you have? Bupkis.
* The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao is not Jewish.
* Breathe in. Breathe out.† Breathe in.† Breathe† out…†† Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.
* Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as a wooded glen. And sit up straight. You’ll never meet the Buddha with such rounded shoulders.
* Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals.You might want to see a specialist.
* Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.
* The Torah says, Love your neighbor as yourself… The Buddha says, There is no self. So … maybe we’re off the hook . . .

(via brooklynmutt)

Hello, Kidney. LOL

I think I need to change my screen name…:)

From the Rachel Maddow show.

reactorboy:

realityenigma:

For a fee, this service will place your dog or cat in the home of a caring atheist on Judgment Day

By Mike Di Paola

Many people in the U.S.—perhaps 20 million to 40 million—believe there will be a Second Coming in their lifetimes, followed by the Rapture . In this event, they say, the righteous will be spirited away to a better place while the godless remain on Earth. But what will become of all the pets?

Bart Centre, 61, a retired retail executive in New Hampshire, says many people are troubled by this question, and he wants to help. He started a service called Eternal Earth-Bound Pets that promises to rescue and care for animals left behind by the saved.

Promoted on the Web as “the next best thing to pet salvation in a Post Rapture World,” the service has attracted more than 100 clients, who pay $110 for a 10-year contract ($15 for each additional pet.) If the Rapture happens in that time, the pets left behind will have homes—with atheists. Centre has set up a national network of godless humans to carry out the mission. “If you love your pets, I can’t understand how you could not consider this,” he says.

Centre came up with the idea while working on his book, The Atheist Camel Chronicles, written under the pseudonym Dromedary Hump. In it, he says many unkind things about the devout and confesses that “I’m trying to figure out how to cash in on this hysteria to supplement my income.”

Whatever motivates Centre, he has tapped into a source of genuine unease. Todd Strandberg, who founded a biblical prophecy Web site called raptureready.com that draws 250,000 unique visitors a month, agrees that Fido and Mittens are doomed. “Pets don’t have souls, so they’ll remain on Earth. I don’t see how they can be taken with you,” he says. “A lot of persons are concerned about their pets, but I don’t know if they should necessarily trust atheists to take care of them.”

This paradox poses a challenge for Centre. He must reassure the Rapture crowd that his pet rescuers are wicked enough to be left behind but good enough to take proper care of the abandoned pets. Rescuers must sign an affidavit to affirm their disbelief in God—and they must also clear a criminal background check. “We want people who have pets and are animal lovers,” Centre says. They also must have the means to rescue and transport the animals in their charge. His network consists of 26 rescuers covering 22 states. “They take this very seriously,” Centre says.

One of Centre’s atheist recruits is Laura, a woman in her 30s who lives near the buckle of the Bible Belt in Oklahoma, and who prefers not to give her last name. She has two dogs of her own and has made a commitment to rescue four dogs and two cats when—if—the time comes. “If it happens, my first thought will be, ‘I’ve got work to do,’” Laura says. “The first thing I’ll do is find out where I need to go exactly.”

The rescuers won’t know the precise location of the animals until the Rapture arrives, at which time they will contact Centre for instructions. “I’ve got to get to [the pets] within a maximum of 18 to 24 hours. We really don’t want them to wait more than a day.” A day she believes will never come.

Centre doesn’t think he will ever have to follow through on the service he offers. But he believes in virtuous acts. His Web site directs about $200 a month in proceeds from Google ads to food banks in Minnesota and New Hampshire. And to pet owners, he has already delivered something of great value: peace of mind, for just 92 cents a month. “If we thought the Rapture was really going to happen,” Centre says, “obviously our rate structure would be much higher.”

Di Paola is a reporter for Bloomberg News .

Caring for Pets Left Behind by the Rapture
For a fee, this service will place your dog or cat in the home of a caring atheist on Judgment Day. 
— BusinessWeek

Well, Mr. Barnum, this just proves it: There really is a sucker born every minute. :-P

Amazing. Absolutely astonishingly amazing. *faint*

I’m with stupid.

@TQNEWS

think4yourself:

A cat is not a pony! on Snuzzy

pretty sure I’ve posted this before, but worth posting again

Yes, it’s worth posting again. I’m totally cracking up. Adorable! ~ waif

Grooveshark: Funniest maintenance alert I’ve ever read.

The Taboo That Just Won’t Shut Up, Chapter 43

by Jeffery Goldberg

Andrew Sullivan, in a post on the root causes of jihadism, praises a writer for the American Conservative, Daniel Larison, for his bravery in addressing what he sees as a strong connection between terrorism and America’s support for Israel. Larison, Andrew writes, “as often, treads where angels fear to.”

How true! How brave it is to stand athwart the Jews and yell “Stop!” We are a dangerous group of people. Just look at what has happened to other critics who have gone where angels fear to tread and criticized Israel. Take, for example, Stephen Walt and John Mearsheimer, the authors of “The Israel Lobby.”  Walt, as many of you know, is in hiding in Holland, under round-the-clock protection of the Dutch police, after the chief rabbi of Wellesley, Mass., issued a fatwa calling for his assassination. Mearsheimer, of course, lost his job at the University of Chicago and was physically assaulted by a group of Hadassah ladies in what became known as the “Grapefruit Spoon Attack of 2009.” Now he teaches political science at a community college in Hayden Lake, Idaho, under police guard. And Michael Scheuer, the former CIA man who argues that American Jews are traitors to their country, was recently burned in effigy during a riot led by a cell of Reconstructionist rabbis.  All across this country, assaults by Jews on their critics are on the rise. It’s gotten so bad you can’t even publish a mildly anti-Semitic cartoon without having your office sacked by gangs of extremists from the North American Federation of Temple Youth. It’s tough out there for brave truth-tellers these days.

The Onion:

New Law Requires Women To Name Baby, Paint Nursery Before Getting Abortion

About 8 years ago, my then boyfriend and I went to see a performance of The Vagina Monologues. If you’re familiar with the play, it is by turns hilarious, heartbreaking, shocking and powerful. The play is performed as a readers’ theatre, at least when I saw it.  Three actresses perform all the roles, sitting on bar stools, reading from a script.

This performance was on Thanksgiving night. It was a special benefit showing and if memory serves (and frequently, it doesn’t) the tickets were either free or discounted, if you brought canned food to the performance.  So, we arrived with our canned goods, gained entry and took our seats.

My undergraduate degree is in theatre performance, so I’m no stranger to live theatre and actors. My boyfriend lacked such a background. This’ll make sense as to why I mention it, in a bit.

In one segment of the show, Teri Hatcher’s role calls for her to fake an orgasm and she does so. And man, it is a corker—a grand slam Big O of a knock-down, drag-out, soul shuddering orgasm.  The audience response is wildly appreciative and in the afterglow, she breaks character, looks at the audience and says, “Can you believe I just did that after a full turkey dinner?”

Having recently seen “When Harry Met Sally,” that was all the encouragement I needed. I called out from my seat:  “I’ll have the turkey she’s having!” Hatcher broke up laughing and I brought the house down.

My boyfriend was embarrassed at the attention I brought upon us and the sexual joke I’d made. He doesn’t get theatre people.  There’s a reason he’s an ex. =)